1. Acknowledging that the part of the brain, the pre frontal cortex, which is responsible for seeing consequences, being rational and coming up with solutions is not fully grown until mid to late 20’s.
    This is why you find children and teenagers tend to be irrational sometimes, do things without realising the outcome as they tend to live in the moment. Try and understand this when they do something you consider wrong or inappropriate. Rather than shouting and telling them off, it might be an idea to wait until you and your child are calm, then explain the consequences and why it can be considered inappropriate.
  2. Encourage your child/teenager to face their fears rather than avoid them.
    It is common for parents to avoid situations where their child might be scared or anxious. Children look to their parents to gauge whether they should be scared or not. So if you anticipate your child being anxious, then they will inevitability feed off this. It is important to explain to your child that in certain situations it is natural for us all to feel anxious and then encourage your child to see themselves having faced their fear and to understand how they would feel having faced it, pointing out to them the positives in the situation. Perhaps taking small steps towards their goal and focussing on those steps rather than the steps they are not taking..
  3. Make sure your child understands that that they don’t need to be perfect all the time,
    they don’t need to win every race or get high marks in every subject. It is important to ensure your child has fun and although they need to work hard and do their best, it is OK if they’re not good at everything. A study has suggested that it is better to praise a child on their hard work rather than praise them on the eventual outcome of winning or gaining a high mark. That way children learn that its hard work that will get them to where they want to be as opposed to focussing purely on the results (either winning or gaining a high grade) and therefore giving up when things don’t go as planned.
  4. Be positive.
    Anxiety is caused by negative thinking. Parents can help train their child’s thoughts by asking them positive questions, for example; Who was kind to you today? What did you enjoy most about your day? What made you laugh today? All questions that encourage positive visions. That way you are helping your child to focus on the positives. Try, for a day, to just praise your child and highlight what they are doing right and watch the difference in their behaviour. Its amazing how many parents I see, whom can list examples of what their children don’t do right and as soon as I ask what positive things they do on a daily basis, they struggle. Avoid getting into the habit of focussing only on the negatives. This will only promote negative thoughts, causing anxiety.
  5. Schedule in relaxing time.
    Children and teenagers need to have time when they relax and have fun. Whether this is playing silly games, going to a leisure centre or painting, whatever makes them completely switch off and live in the moment, away from social media, TV and computers. This will relax their brain, encouraging a calmer and in control child.
  6. Your child will mimic you.
    If you face your fears, so will your child. If you are positive, so will your child be. If you have fun, then your child will to. I see many mothers who have forgotten about themselves, if you look after yourself, not only will you have plenty more resources for your child/children, you will also be in a better place mentally and so will your child. An anxious mother equals an anxious child. Children learn behaviours from watching their parents.
  7. Encourage a good bed time routine.
    It is so important that you child relaxes before they go to sleep. We are all told how important it is to get a baby into a good night time routine and it is the same for us all, whatever age. This means winding down an hour before they go to bed, away from modern stimulates such as iPads, mobile phones and laptops. Research suggests that the light from the mentioned equipment, reduces melatonin (this stimulates sleep) resulting in a lighter sleep and an increased risk of insomnia.
  8. Listen to your child/teenager.
    If they have worries, listen to them, understand them and then help them get through it. Sometimes parents respond to their children’s anxieties/worries by telling them ‘that it will be fine’ or ‘just get on with it’. This only makes the child/teenager feel you don’t understand them, leading to more anxiety.
  9. Encourage relaxation techniques in your child,
    such as focussing on their breathing when they feel anxious, perhaps listening to a relaxation CD. It is impossible to feel anxious and relaxed at the same time, so the more you encourage your child to relax the less likely they will suffer from anxiety. There are many books to read and classes out there for children and teenagers to attend that involve using relaxation techniques.
  10. Seek Help.
    If your child continuously suffers from anxiety, it is beneficial to nip it in the bud and perhaps take them to a professional who can encourage your child to be more confident and in control. The more in control your child/teenager is, the more relaxed and fun they will have, therefore, enjoying life to the full.
With growing social media and anxiety in parents as a whole, child/teenager anxiety is unfortunately on the rise. However, you can help them flourish by ….